In a world that runs rampant with the idea that divorce is an easy out, and something that you seek for when you are "no longer happy" these words spoken by Wallace Goddard, a marriage and family counselor, brought a breath of fresh air to me "Relationships that cannot be salvaged are rare." This statement brings light to even the darkest of relationships.  Even during the tough times, when you and I may think that our marriage is too difficult and not worth saving, or when marital problems seem too big to overcome, let these words settle in your mind: "Relationships that cannot be salvaged are rare." As humans and imperfect beings, we are all flawed. I love my husband dearly, but there are times that things that he does drive me crazy.  For example, when he takes a shower and constantly leaves his pile of dirty clothes on the bathroom floor, and his soaking wet towel at the foot of our bed.  I can say that there are days that this bugs me more than others, but to be fair, I'm sure there are things that get under his skin that I do. How do we overcome this desire to criticize or point out our spouse's flaws?

 

I believe that we must become aware of what our frustrations are doing to our marriages. Goddard said "We judge our companion as flawed and inferior. Over time this subtle discontent grows into a cancerous assurance that our partner is fatally flawed. With time we can easily convince ourselves that the marriage was a mistake." The small annoyances from our spouse, that we let get under our skin may seem small in the beginning, but if they are left unbridled they can turn into a festering wound.  We must be careful and chose to focus less on our spouse's flaws and more on their strengths.  We all want to be seen on our best days and under the best circumstances, so why not afford this same blessing to our spouse? If this is a struggle in your marriage, you can turn to Heavenly Father for help, through humble prayer. He can help you learn how to sacrifice selfish desires in exchange for Christlike desires. Goddard also gave some great advice on how to overcome this. He said "As we enter our homes, we can pause to beseech God to grant us grace, goodness, mercy, compassion, and patience. We can ask the Father to help us see our partners and his or her struggles with the loving-kindness with which He views them. In so doing, we place our time, our minds and our hearts on the altar. That is the ultimate offering, the required sacrifice. Making this sacrifice is the heart and soul of the required obedience." I know that difficulties in marriage will come, but as we chose to sacrifice and are obedient, we can find that our marriage is the strength of our life.