Being pro-marriage and supporting the definition of marriage as only between a man and a woman does not mean that the person holding these views is intolerant, heartless, or a hater of the gay and lesbian community. There has been much talk about this issue with the recent ruling brought down by the Supreme Court. After the courts made the ruling, social media, television reports, political talk shows and radio broadcasts were inundated with hate filled messages towards those that view marriage as only between a man and a woman.  I find it disappointing that because I am pro-marriage, it means that I dislike people.  This couldn’t be further from the truth, and I’d like to explain the driving force behind my personal thoughts and views on marriage.

 I hold marriage as a sacred gift that has been given to us by our creator above. God created man on the Earth and provided for him a woman. Together, they were commanded to have children.  I believe that part of our purpose here on Earth centers around our families.  The majority of my learning and growth has come from being raised by parents, and through being a parent myself.  Life is about growing, progressing and becoming better and a child needs the strength and guidance that can only come from the union between a man and a woman.  Each sex has been given strengths and talents that can influence, and together they provide the foundation for a strong home and family life.  In my opinion, a child will not be well rounded without the guidance of both a male and female. I grew up without a present father in the home.  I have experienced some suffering because of this and I missed out on what it felt like to have a protective male figure that provided for the family. I also needed the balance between a mother’s nurturing ways and a father’s more stern and focused guidance.  

 Marriage between a man and a woman is an ancient union and has been around for many thousands of years.  This has been our way of life, and to think that a change in this union is going to be an easy undertaking and easily accepted is just not true. I would never expect someone that holds a personal belief close to them to abandon it. Oftentimes our beliefs are so closely intertwined with our soul that it is impossible to separate the two and, I believe that is the case with those that hold marriage as between a man and a woman only. The beliefs and values associated with marriage have been held near to our core and up to this point have completely shaped our society.  Marriage has also been a civil right afforded to us, so to redefine marriage feels like an infringement upon a right as a citizen. Society also needs strong family units that are free from social ills. Social issues such as “divorce, cohabitation, non-marital childbearing, pornography, the erosion of fidelity in marriage, abortion, the strains of unemployment and poverty contribute to the weakening of the family.” The union of a gay couple will further weaken the family unit and will provide a negative impact on families.

My words are not meant to hurt, or classify me in the same category as haters and heartless Christians. I love my fellow men.  Let me say again that I love my fellow men regardless of their sexual orientation. Differences do not have to destroy our society.  In fact, it is oftentimes through differences that balance is provided. My thoughts are summed up on this issue through the words of Elder Russell M. Nelson “Proclaim your love for all human beings “with malice toward none, with charity for all. They as children of God are our brothers and sister. We value their rights and feelings. But we cannot condone efforts to change divine doctrine. It is not for man to change.”