Equal Partnership in Marriage

The world seems to point out that there is a great deal of inequality between sexes. If a woman stays at home and tends to the needs of her family, her work might be labeled as being less important than if she held a career. As members of the church we are taught and recognize that there is an equality between sexes and in a spiritual sense not one spouse has more of "an eternal possiblity than the other" (Hawkins, 2012 p. 38). We are required by Heavenly Father and are given a stewardship to be equal partners in our marital relationships. President Hunter said "The Lord intended that the wife be a companion equal and necesary in full partnership. For a man to operate independent of or withough regard to the feelings and counsel of his wife in governing the family is to exercise unrighteous dominion" (Hawkins, 2012 p. 41). What a strong statement! This allows us to feel how imporant working together as husband and wife really is, and how we must work together with a oneness. 

Equality in marriage to me means that we experience and seek for a oneness in purpose. I have always appreciated having a spouse that supports me. He views my role in our home as being just as important as his role outside of the home. I know that after I obtain my degree, I'll be working outside of the home more permanently and he will support me in this as well, because we are one in purpose. We have life goals that we've determined together yet, we both have personal goals that do not overstep our desire to be an individual. I believe that a oneness in purpose is the key to an interdependent relationship. According to the text Successful Marriages and Families, "research shows that couples who have an equal partnership have happier relationships, better individual well-being, more effective parenting practices, and better functioning children." The text goes on to say "researchers have consistently found taht couples who share power are more satisfied and have better overall marital quality that couples where one spouse dominates" (Hawkins,p. 43). What a blessing equal partnership can be in a marriage. One of the most sought after feeling in this life, is to have happiness. Happy, is how our Heavenly Father intended us to feel, and he has set up a way for us to experience this through our families and relationships. As we strive to have marital equality, we will experience a greater feeling of happiness spiritually and physically.

As an added note- I have included a scale in which you can assess how power is placed in your relationship. If you believe their is a power struggle in your relationship, answer these questions and evaluate where changes can be made.

Power Processes Scale (Courtesy of: Successful Marriages and Family, Hawkins 2012, p. 43)

1. My partner tends to discount my opinion.
2. My partner does not listen to me.
3. When I want to talk about a problem in our relationship, my partner often refuese to talk with me about it.
4. My partner tends to dominte our conversations.
5. When we do not agree on an issue, my partner gives me the cold shoulder.
6. I do not feel free to exprss my opinion about issues in our relationship.
7. My partner makes decisions that affect our family without talking to me first.
8. My partner and I do not talk about problems until we both agree on a solution.
9. I feel like my partner tries to control me.

Power Outcome Scale

1. When it comes to money, my partners opinion usually wins out.
2. When it comes to children my partners opinion usually wins out.
3. It often seems like my partner can get away with things in the relationship that I can never get away with.
4. I have no choice but to do what my partner wants.
5. My partner has more influence in our relationship than I do.
6. When disagreements arise in our relationship, my partner's opinion usually wins out.