The Golden Years

There have been times in my marriage when I've toyed with the idea of what marriage will be like later in my life. I often seem to romanticize this period of life as I think about how great it will be when there isn't a child’s nose to wipe, plenty of free time, and vacation time with my husband. Although I don't think this way while I'm lost in my daydream, marriage in the later years of life will still carry trials and hard times. Some will struggle with the empty nest stage where the once bustling house is now empty and quiet, others will realize that their marriage isn't as strong as they thought it was as they try to adjust to the new life of retirement. Some will grieve as they watch children pass away to soon, experience financial hardships, or find themselves caring for ailing parents. While there are blessing to be had in every season in life, there are also the times of struggle. I feel that it's important to understand the challenges that lie ahead, so that we can better prepare ourselves for this stage in life. President Benson gave some great advice on how to overcome the feelings of uselessness that some aging individuals might feel. He said "The key to overcoming aloneness and a feeling of uselessness for one who is physically able is to step outside yourself by helping others who are truly needy. We promise those who will render this kind of service that, in some measure, you will be healed of the loss of loved ones or the dread of being alone. The way to feel better about your own situation is to improve someone else's circumstances (Hawkins, 2012, p. 93). What a great piece of advice to know and understand before reaching the stage of actually needing it. When we are feeling alone or dire about our circumstances, we must seek to help another, and lose our selves in the service of another person’s life.

In regards to attachment theory, research has shown that "there is an innate, motivating force hardwired in the brain that compels all humans, at all points in the life cycle, to seek contact and connection to others. When securely and safely connected to others, both men and woman are more confident, are healthier physically, mentally and emotionally, and are able to more effectively cope with life's stresses and challenges (Hawkins, 20112, p. 89).  What a blessing having a strong relationship can be. Not only do we feel better about our life and situation, we are also proven to be healthier, and better equipped to take on life’s challenges. While there are trials in every period in our life, the blessing of having a strong marriage later in life are nearly irreplaceable. The later years provide a couple with more resolve, a great deal of wisdom, and an example of perseverance to be left with their children and grandchildren. These years truly can be the dream that I spoke of earlier in my post, if we recognize that there will be challenges, lose ourselves in service, and recognize the blessings that come from age and experience.