Grief, Loss, and The Healing Power of the Atonement

Grief is the response that we have when we suffer loss in life. Each person experiences grief in a different way. Some may feel depressed, sad, hurt, and anxious, have denial, feel dumb, want to disconnect from others. These are just a few ways that people deal with grief, and it's important to understand that it is okay to mourn. In the article "Coping with Grief in Perinatal Loss" advice was offered when the author stated "At this stage of your life, it is important that you allow yourself to mourn. Take as much time as you need. Let it happen in your own way and on your own timeline. One of the most helpful things you can have at this time is a strong network of support. Try to reach out to friends and family. Talk to them about your feelings. Do not be afraid to ask them for help if you need it. Keep in mind that others may not understand the magnitude of this loss. Consider explaining the significance of the loss to those around you. Communicating with them can help them sympathize and become better able to support you in the way that you need to be supported" (Johnson). I think this is powerful and useful advice. People mourn differently and at different times. What may be difficult to one in the beginning may not bother someone else until further down the road. I think as we support others through this trial, it's important to be a good support and recognize that mourning a loss may look different than how you would deal with it.

In the article "The Healing Power of Grief" licensed clinical social worker Steven Eastmond talks about a few principles that can help those that are struggling with grief. Whether we are experiencing it ourselves, or a person close to us, this information is helpful. First, Mr. Eastmond says that even though grief is painful, we must not keep ourselves from feeling it. The pain of a loss is a normal emotion to feel while in the grieving process. He also states that " Grieving is not a brief process. Be patient with it and give it time. As with a physical wound, the pain of losing a loved one requires time to heal"( Eastmond, 2014). Next it is important to understand that feeling grief does not mean that we are lacking in our faith. Going through the emotions of loss are difficult, and a normal part of life. By allowing self to feel this hurt, does not mean that we are lacking in faith in our Heavenly Father. Next, Eastmond explains that experiencing grief is the price that we must pay for loving someone. He said "I have learned that grief is the price we pay for loving someone—and that the price is worth it. None of the people I have worked with said they would give up the love they had for a family member in order to avoid the grief that came from losing that family member. When loved ones pass from this side of the veil to the other, they continue to be just as important to us as when they were with us. Because we love them, we can’t really expect to completely “get over” losing them" (Stevenson, 2014).

I lost a baby due to a miscarriage in between my first and second child. I was heartbroken, and can remember feeling very depressed for a time. I felt nervous about conceiving again, because I didn't want to go through the pain of loss again. After I had my third child, I was told by many doctors that I should not have any more children due to some complications that I had with my first pregnancy. Although this was not a direct loss of life, I still felt a huge loss in my heart. I had planned to have more children, and the fact that the choice was taken from me was hard to deal with. While these times in my life were very difficult, they also offered a blessing of gratitude to me. I often feel so grateful for the children that I have and for fact that I was able to get them here safely. My relationships with them are of great importance to me, and I appreciate the gift of motherhood. I know that I would love them no matter what, but having a clearer vision of what it means to have them here with me, makes me grateful for these blessings.

Loss can also be a time when we turn to our Savior for comfort and help. He knows our pain, he understands our struggle, and he shares in our grief. As we recognize this, our hearts can be filled with peace. It will not come overnight, and sometimes will be more difficult than others, but the Savior can offer the light of a new day that offers comfort, happy times, and peace in our soul.

Eastmond, S. (n.d.). The Healing Power of Grief - Ensign Jan. 2014 - ensign. Retrieved April 03, 2016, from https://www.lds.org/ensign/2014/01/the-healing-power-of-grief?lang=eng